On Poop

Sooooo....am I in the minority when I say that I am a very conscientious public pooer? I try to not do it when others are in the bathroom (though in dyer emergencies this may be a bit rough). If the dump is odoriferous, I take action to minimize the funk. When I’m done, I confirm that all physical evidence of said expulsion is eliminated.

That’s what I do. Not too much effort.

SO WHY THE FUCK DO I WALK INTO A STINKY SKID MARKED NAPPY TOILET PAPER STICKING TO THE SEAT STALL ONCE A DAY????????

Tips for Public Colonal Evacuation:

1. If more than two stalls, take one on the end. This allows interlopers to choose a stall with a little distance.
2. Should someone come in during your process, give a cough or a little shuffle ball change to let them know you are there.
3. The courtesy flush is your friend, this helps keep down the smell and can cover any particularly forceful movements. USE IT.
4. Upon completion remember the F I R….Flush, Inspect, Repeat when necessary. That’s right your job is not complete until you INSPECT the bowl for any skid marks, floaty bits or errant hairs.

Take the time to make the world a better place.
Thank you and good day.