Help, I'm thinking again!

I'm new to relationships. I'm 37 and I still don't know how to do them. I guess that's not big news or terribly out of the ordinary. I like being in the bubble of newness…when the farthest distance you can stand to be from him is the distance of one atom from another. When the breathe of your lover is like an ether that envelops and transports you to the land of unicorns and fluffy kittens.

I can even handle the passionate sparing that burrows us ever deeper into each others darkness.

The thing I suck at is the static place where nothing is wrong and nothing is grand. That day to day. I tend to struggle and push here. I want to make it one or the other or anything other than the norm. I get scared here. How does one manage the relationship steady state. Is it the beginning of the end? The dinners in silence? The quiet that precedes boredom? The moment before betrayal.

Or is this the pulling back of the ocean just before the powerful wave that pulls us into forever?