Don't Shake the Baby

Generalist sentiments regarding love, the art of drinking and drive by farting.

Friday, September 16, 2005

WTF?

Dear Editor.

I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t buy this month’s issue. I had been waiting for the October issue of Vanity Fair to be released with anticipation, but when it finally hit newsstands, I couldn’t believe by bad luck. Why on EARTH would you put that woman (and I use that term loosely) on the cover?

Now, I would call her a no talent ass clown, but that would prevent you from publishing my letter, which I wouldn’t really mind, since my very writing this gives her the one thing she seeks most, the same thing I wish to prevent: more publicity. I mean really, what has she done for humanity that she deserves the amount of attention she receives? I can think of nothing, unless you count becoming an icon of emptiness or starting the unbearable trend of dawning rat dogs as accessories…oh right, she was in a porn video, how novel.

Thank goodness you have spent precious space on this modern day poor little rich girl, lord knows we can all use a break from the drudgery of presidential deceit and incompetence. Taking in the horrors of Katrina is all that much more bearable knowing that the Student Body President of My Daddy U is back from vacation.