Shallow Thoughts

I’m wearing a pink puffy sweater today. The kind with little tendrils of hair growing out of it, sort of like some of my t-shirts post Sunday morning hang out with the cats. The little sprouts get caught up by the wind and float in the currant like sea grass…sort of calming even if the pink is that of Bubblicious Bubble-Yum.

I am a créma puff, no?

Water heaters break and require checks taped to the empty carcass. Seattle’s favorite plumber is always sick, he had a sinus infection this time, but the job was still complete even if the shell takes up residence on the lawn.

Boyfriends are complicated, maybe it’s just relationships. We all have our histories, mothers who broke our hearts and fathers never there or too there. Oprah visited the Cleaver house yesterday, apparently they moved out.

It’s Friday and I’m rambling. Little thoughts that ebb and flow in the confluent tides of caffeine and adrenaline.

The Puppet That he Is.

Fun with GW.

http://www.actofme.co.uk/bush_speech/bushspeechwriter.html

"The US has a deep hatred for civil rights."

You know what he says, now you can make him say what he means.

Big Ass Fear

I'm somewhat frightened of bugs, but only when they crawl on me or menacingly chase me into a corner. The house spider here in Seattle is a giant brown hairy monster that has relegated more than one pair of my shoes to the dust bin post-encounter.

Then there are scary movies, bad dreams and the smell of gin...all give me goose bumps, but generally the feeling is passing. Sometimes I think of what it would be like to loose my mom and live in this world alone.

But today, the thing the scares the crap out of me to the point that I've cancelled all my colonic appointments for the foreseeable future is the prospect of riding my bike in the STP.

Screw you Betagal and your crazy "to do" list!!!

Shall we play a game?

Guess the movies that these quotes come from. The person who gets the most correct answers wins a fabulous prize.

1. Now will you get out of here, I have to sleep in this room. Out of the Past

2. Fuck you! I'm fuckin dyin over here. Reservoir Dogs

3. It's a thin line between clever and stupid. Spinal Tap

4. You can't leave. All the plants will die. Stripes

5. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban. Young Frankenstien

6. I AM in a world of shit. Full Metal Jacket

7. I felt like destroying something beautiful Fight Club

8. He'll cry himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow So I Married and Axe Murderer

9. I killed him for the money and the woman. I didn't get the money ... and I didn't get the woman. Double Indemnity

10. Jack, please, I'm only an elected official here. I can't make decisions by myself. Nightmare Before Christmas

Congradulations to betagal. Your fabulous prize will arive in the next few days

Exes and ohs

Here they are, in chronological order. A list of the nicknames I've come up with for guys I've dated so my friends can keep them straight. Ready?

1. Big head/Dorkus/Atari boy (he was so terrible, he earned three).
2. Rocker Aaron
3. Ted
4. Pig Farmer
5. Rob
6. Bear mauled guy
7. "You remind me of my sister" guy
8. Dead bird guy
9. Soup boy/Foam boy
10. "I broke up with my fiancee two weeks ago but I'm totally over her" guy
11. Lime boy
12. Stevel Knievel
13. The flake

Anyone without a nickname was obviously not noteworthy, and therefore not worth mentioning.
If you require further elaboration on any of the names, let me know. I've got a dossier on each.

What the ....

HELL is going on here?
As if I dont have enough distraction to keep me from working.
Well, actually, I don't.

Pick-up

OK, this is a call for all the worst pick-up lines you've ever heard from a guy.
Or hell, from a girl for that matter.

It's for this thing I'm doing. Ahem.

No, but really. I think my favorite ever was:
"With legs like that, it's like you were born to walk"

An aside--when I heard this, I had so many come-backs pop up in my head I literally cramped up and just uttered a weak 'thanks'.

And we're off....

Generally speaking, I'm not much of a writer, or very creative at all. The one thing I'm good at is surrounding my self with exceptionally intelligent, witty and broad minded people. Sort of a cultural vampire I suppose.

So the point of this blog (if a point must be assigned) is general amusement...mine to be precise, though I expect others will be amused as well, since said contributors (minus me) will be, as indicated above, up-to-date on all current (+/- 10 years) trends, political goings on and recent ice cream flavors.